In the midst of winter...

About one year ago I started this little odyssy. I really can't give an exact day because I don't believe it works like that. There isn't a real beginning moment. It just starts happening to you. I remember it was after Christmas though. I remember sitting quietly in a chair. No television, no music...no noise. Just the sound of my breathing. I was gazing at the Christmas tree. I was totally content with being right there... although there was somewhere I needed to be in a hurry. My mind was completely clear of the usual racing thoughts and for a change I wasn't anxious. I remember closing my eyes and I began to meditate. The books started coming to me not long after. They were all given to me in the most unusual ways. I didn't purchase a single one of them. They were being sent to me as I needed them... and they still do.  I continue to feed my head and heart and I'm in love with life, what can I say? I've never been so happy, blissful and confident in the midst of everything that is happening in my life outside of me. I now know what it feels like to be happy. I created it. Nothing on the outside is (or isn't) making that happiness. No person, place or thing. No set of circumstances, finances or romances. It's me. I'm arriving :)

xoxo

Ma boy Hemi

"Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep, really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough."

 Ernest Hemingway #2013

The mind of Sun smiles from the center

Today I was able to look DIRECTLY into the sun...without getting blinded. I didn't even have to squint. It was perfectly natural as if I were staring at a flower. There was a blue spot in front of the biggest part of the sun so that I only saw the sunrays. I stood there in a hypnotic state for a few minutes. Shook my head, batted my eyes, rubbed my eyes (thinking I had something in my eye) I know they say it's not good to look directly at the sun but I couldnt resist, I had to look at it. After about 15 minutes I yelled for my boyfriend...and this is how the conversation went:

~ Casey...come look out the window and look at the sun. Do you see a blue spot in front of it?
~ What do you mean? I can't look at the sun. Nobody can look at the sun. Are you high right now?
~ What if I told you I've been staring into the sun for 15 minutes and its in no way what-so-ever hurting my eyes...because theres a blue spot in front of it
~ What blue spot?? Why would you be doing that in the first place?
~ I dont know.... I looked out the window and the sun caught my eye. It took a while but I realized that I was staring directly into the sun. Comfortably....and theres a blue spot in front of the sun allowing me to stare directly at it
~ *walks away shaking his head
~  Wait a minute, do you see the blue spot or not? Because I'm telling you right now, that Im right here looking at the sun and there is a blue spot there protecting my eyes. I am looking directly at it...isn't this interesting? Don't you have any questions? Arent you in any way CURIOUS why I see a blue dot on the sun right now and you dont???
~ *crickets*
~ *continues to look out the window in awe....... until the sun goes down <3


It was literally covering the sun and It felt like my forehead was absorbing energy from the sunrays. Like I was getting filled with "power" or something.....I know, I know. But thats how it felt, that was my experience...and I swear I'm not smoking or drinking anything.
I'm not sure why this blue spot is there or how, I don't know if anyone else has experienced this or not. Certainly I'm not the only one....but it's a first for me. Gonna meditate on it...nite nite :)))


If this has happened to you, by all means, I'd love to hear from you....

Wanderlusting

Last time I saw this band was in the south of France in Nice. I was bumming it and went to the Cannes Film festival, Monaco (est ce que ce que cest vrai blah blah) and swam nekked in the Mediterarnean (very salty hold yer nose) then saw a kiosk saying these guys were playing tonight for 5 bucks and they are in NYC tonight for tomorrow's concert in Central Park (12/12/12) I love them and miss them! Oh how I wish I were in NYC!

The rose grows through the dirt

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

The irony of the spiritual trail

Whew and Sigh...Fuck, it's hard to keep yourself in check. Wanting to help people with their problems, and giving advice without sounding pretentious. It can be heartbreaking. It's like watching them drown. They're reaching out their hand for help, you try with all your strength to pull them in, but they keep slipping away. Some people, well...most people, can't even hear you. Explaining the Law of Attraction to someone who is unable to hear you is just something I have to get used to. They're everywhere...and the worst part is they have no idea that they are the ones creating their problems through negative thought and emotion. I myself was one of those "wide awake but sleeping" people. Most definately. You could not tell me shit about any of this 5 years ago. I met spiritual people all the time but they were wack jobs to me. I meet them now, I love them, understand and learn from them. Many people lose their sense of humor when they go on a spiritual trip. Back then it was such a turn off and just way to serious. I believe life is supposed to be fun and adventurous. Its about quieting your mind through meditation, filling your subconcious with all things positive through books and quotes/affirmations, changing the way you think about people/things/circumstances so you can attract something better. Laugh alot, mind your own business, love and forgive people, don't get involved with negative bullshit, do more often whatever it is that makes your heart sing. When I suggest these things to people they give me that same look that I gave 5 years ago. It's cool though. I don't have to force anyone to see light, I just have to be light and they will go when they're ready. None of us really reach it, its a moment to moment thing and it grows in bio memory; (not that im an expert on it just practicing it humbly here and there) And I'll soon figure out how to help in the meantime without looking like a wack job. I got this...♥

Accept Your Reality, Whatever it is

So much time is wasted on our planet in wishful thinking. Instead that time and energy can be applied creatively to say, "Ok, Here I am. Now what is the best course of action given the way things are?" The more you learn to embrace reality in front of you, the quicker you will move into the reality you want

Pure Earth Energy

Can you get up first thing in the morning and go to the ocean, take a sip of the ocean and watch the sun come up for 30 minutes while swimming each day? If you take a sip of the Ocean while swimming for exercise and looking at the sun for beauty, you have just absorbed enough light energy to be able to sustain yourself for 8 hours. No joke. Ocean water contains enough essential nutrients in a few ...

sips for a whole day. You can even test this by fasting for a week and only doing this practice. Eventually, the body can live off of just Light energy. Breathing in air around you holds the same essential nutrients to support your body as the ocean. Practicing deep breathing while going for a morning swim at the beach while looking at the Sun will sustain you. Forever. People who do this call themselves Breatharians. Real people being studied, and that is no joke by NASA. They want to study a man from India who doesnt eat or drink so they can have longer flights in space without food. Love it!

The future has lots of rainbows

I think in a way, you're doomed, once you can envision something. You're sort of doomed to make it happen. I've found that the moment I can envision leaving a relationship, that's usually the moment that the relationship starts to fall apart.
 

Chuck Palahniuk

love

Rain or shine, friends take care of one another... Stay safe all. Learn in this lifetime, it's never about money, fame, material-wealth or power. It's about health, happiness, peace, serenity and the need for loving one another. Take good care of one another, learn to simply love.

my trip

From the outside looking in you could never understand it. From the inside looking out you could never explain it...

☮ feed your head ☮

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't.

-Alice in Wonderland

from me to you :)

I have the utmost gratitude for my health and my progress...I am SO proud of myself! My daily blessings of food, water and a beautiful home, A warm bed to sleep in and a nice car to drive. I will NEVER take any of these things for granted. I welcome more love in my life, more money and more peace of mind with open arms. I hope all of my dear friends and family find peace in their minds and love in their hearts. Sending ALL THE LOVE I HAVE IN ME into the universe for a happy, loving and healthy world full of prosperity and abundance...

peace, love and happiness always,

Lynn

Zen Buddhism

"Zen" means "to think about anything" and "arrive at the contemplation of" The purpose of the mini-garden of Zen - give you the "feel the moment", freeing up time from life's troubles and fleeting domestic troubles.
According to Eastern philosophy of Zen Buddhism is quintessence. Garden symbolizes the excitement and serenity that can instill a sense of grandeur to the owner and the balance through the contemplation of stones and sculptures.
It is believed that Zen meditation promotes relaxation and in the modern world is fleeting. Your movements become serene, freeing the mind, giving inspiration and creativity. When contemplating a mini-garden of Zen it is possible to feel a new kind of relaxation that allows you to draw upon the harmony and splendor - and in his heart and in mind

the guru IS the way

Maharaj-ji is not further away from you at this moment than the thought you're thinking now. And if you were completley stopping this thought or: transcending it or: being centered from the inside behind it....He and you would then be one

perception

I drink the finest of wines and smoke the most decadent of weed
And if your going somewhere groovy, I may follow your lead
I go without shoes, with a smile on my face
I care not what people think of me, I own my own grace.
Be kind, be inspiring, be a great friend who is funny
In the end that will mean more than a big pile of money...

A year from now you may wish you had started today

❤ Do Not Disturb ❤

I'm going into hibernation for awhile to work on my subconcious. I predict there will be those who think I've lost my damn mind but, in fact, it is the exact opposite :} Nothing bad has happened and I'm not running away from anything. I am running towards something...

hahahah

Whenever you are sad, remember Syd has sang “I am yum yummy yim yam do yimmy yim yam yum”


...that is all

Yours truly,

Lynn

Entranced by the Enigma...The Madman Inspires

“I don’t think I’m easy to talk about. I’ve got a very irregular head. And I’m not anything that you think I am anyway.”

~Syd Barrett

How I wish you were here

I’m thinking a lot about Syd Barrett lately. It’s very difficult not to any day, but lately… I don’t know exactly what to say...that someone so incredibly far from my reach is so dear and important to me right now. His story breaks my heart. More than others I’ve read of beautiful, young rockers and rollers drowning, dying, crashing…at least they died the same person they were when they were born. Altered by humanity, age, reality, time, and substance, but essentially they think and are the same. But with Syd, he had been changed from a glorious, groundbreaking ray of love & light, to an ever-silent, tripped out tragedy. And it’s just so sad..you know..? I just wish I could have met him. Before or after his meltdown, I don’t care. Just to know him would be enough. Find out truths, lies, learn from him.. Talk about the weather.. I don’t and wouldn’t mind. I just want to thank him for being how he was, and making people think and be happy. It sounds silly, but it all means a lot. Everything, actually. I wonder, now, if he really existed. If he really lived from—what was it?—1946 to 2006?—and if he really led the Floyd to existance, and laughed and painted and sang and gave the mad their king. I bet I just sound silly and stupid with all my fever-dream ranting..but I had to write about Syd. Because I was reading a bunch of things from the Floyd, producers, colleagues, friends, girls, and Syd himself. And because he was a lovely creature. It was very fun to read and it took a while. And then it was done with: Syd Barrett: (when asked if people still remember him) "Yes, I should think so..."
Upon reading that quote, I busted into tears and I couldn’t breathe, my throat was so tight. For some reason, that quote hit me so so hard. Then when I gathered my wits again, what i’ve been writing happened. I could hear him say it—the quote, I mean. There has to be some connection with me and this man. The Dark Side Of The Moon and myself were both born in 1973 and i've had a very deep attraction to Shine On my entire life, remembering as a child... and watching The Wall and not understanding it but being ok with that. A sort of hibernation period in my life and not really understanding anything actually. Feeling a deep sense of something was in me...but it was burried pretty deep. Surfacing in recent years and growing tremendously. Which seems to me like the perfect setting to re-discover Pink Floyd, including and especially early Floyd. I should really go on to something else now... Starting with my big bad reveal and how I was into Syd for about a month and a half when I found out he had died 5 years previous (I got into him 2011). I was absolutely devastated—because I was being forced to trade my hero for a ghost. The still-living, still-breathing, beautiful Syd that I thought still was had been ripped away. But I soon adjusted to the realization “your sweet little scarecrow is dead, Lynn.” and here I am now, crying over the bones of a stranger. I don’t know what to say now, except that 'im tired' and 'Roger’s very nice, still caring about Syd no matter what',  and 'if you dont know who Syd Barrett is, i recommend you get lost in his story for most of your day' or 'I really should take a nap..but this man is better than sleep' but none of that matters, because my chocolate is gone and so is my attention span. To put it simple, spending any kind of  time with Syd Barrett is necessary and beautiful...
And with that...I will say, (with absolute vulnerability), at this point in my life...i would give anything to have a soul like Syd to talk to. They just don't make men like that anymore...someone with deep thoughts, the charisma, the talent, the amazing vocabulary...and those eyes, oh my god those beautiful, soulful eyes. And what if... he held me really tight and sang to me as we slow danced? How about if we take a walk... and i pick him flowers and listen to him play and sing and he could read me alice in wonderland under a tree... while we are eating ice cream and after this, we take a nap on the grass together? How about the two of us simply enjoying an herbal session?

Perhaps in another life,

Lynn

TRUTH

⚜Zen is all-inclusive. It never denies, it never says no to anything; it accepts everything and transforms it into a higher reality...I don't let go of my thoughts, I meet them with understanding, then they let go of me...Byron Katie⚜

perfect...

:)

We learn from every step we take. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. Be proud of you

The Law of Attraction

No matter what it is, if you really want it, and if you get out of the way of it, it will happen. It must be. It is Law. It can be no other way. It's the way this Universe is established. If you want it and you relax, it will happen. ~Abraham Hicks

☼ The Power of Meditation ☼

"Sitting is the gateway of truth to total liberation." ~Dogen

The first thing you need to do is relax. Once you've reached a deep state of mental tranquility, you enable yourself to connect with the Universal Mind or Spirit.

☯

 Tao Te Ching.  Knowledge and humility  (chap. 33, tr. Feng and English)

Knowing others is wisdom;

Knowing the self is enlightenment.

Mastering others requires force;

Mastering the self requires strength;

He who knows he has enough is rich.

Perseverance is a sign of will power.

He who stays where he is endures.

To die but not to perish is to be eternally present.

YES YES YES ECO HOME!!

"Visualize this thing that you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blueprint and begin." Robert Collier

▲ The Law Of Attraction ▲

"Mentally imagine and prepare for your perfect future." Che Garman

be who you are and don't appologize

There is a road, no simple highway, between the dawn and the dark of night...and if you go, no one may follow. That path is for your steps alone. ~Jerry Garcia

❖ My Anthem ❖

A happy life is just a string of happy moments. But most people don't allow the happy moment, because they're so busy trying to get a happy life. ~Abraham Hicks

happy girls are the prettiest girls

If you wanna scrap with me, be prepared to feel like you're getting hit by feathers. Sexy feathers.

Note to self...

Start spending time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded. Relationships should help you, not hurt you. Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be

"I believe.... in gratitude. I believe gratitude is one of the foundations to living a more positive life. I believe writing down at least 5 things you are grateful for, each day, will help you attract more things to be grateful for. I believe gratitude will help you see the positive (the silver lining) in any situation - yes, even the ones we first thought were not so good. Couple gratitude with love and you have a powerful force - you have the foundation to the spiritual laws and your life will be blessed beyond your wildest dreams."~~~Soul Inspiring

Today's affirmation: "I am grateful every single day for the blessings and the wonderful people who are bestowed upon me"

"The greatest goodness is peace of mind"~~~The Buddha

The Tao Te Ching and Dr. Wayne Dyer

Every act of love sheds light on the world. Love most where it is most needed, beginning within

Starting with positive affirmations you can plant the seed. Sometimes hope is all you have. If you have it, you have everything...

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line. -Lucille Ball

It is the perfect beginning ♥ I love my life ♥ I am here to flow in the direction of MY desires, not someone elses ♥ I have an abundance of wealth flowing from multiple sources ♥ Positivity changes everything ♥ I am never to old to set another goal or dream a new dream ♥ I love my life. What I seek is seeking me ♥ I will observe situations without emotions. No need to get frustrated, it's not worth the stress ♥ I am loved ♥ I am grateful for all the people who love me ♥ I will look for joy in each day and I will find it ♥ I have an amazing and beautiful life ♥ I am grateful for all that is well in my world ♥ I live with an abundance of all that is good ♥ Only good lies before me ♥ I will laugh more, and lighten up ♥ I believe in myself ♥ Thoughts that feel good is where my power lies ♥ Gratitude is absolutly the way to bring more into my life ♥ What I think about, I bring about ♥ It is always worthwhile to make others aware of their worth ♥ Happier thoughts lead to happier bio-chemistry ♥ I declair richness and fullness in my life ♥ I will spend my life lifting people up, not putting them down ♥ Negative people will try to drag me down, I will love them but rise above them ♥ What I believe becomes true for me ♥ Life is divine chaos and I will embrace it ♥ The way I think creates reality for myself ♥ Be thankful for what you have and you will end up having more ♥ Happy thoughts = Happy molecules ♥ My gratitude = My happiness ♥ I can turn my negative thoughts around as soon as I have them ♥ I am in total acceptance of where I am right now. Only good lies before me ♥ I am here for a mighty purpose ♥ I have faith in the universe and in my future ♥ My opinions matter ♥ I will not take things too hard ♥ Happiness is my choice ♥ This is my life, this is my time ♥ I am happy, healthy and wealthy in every way ♥ I will be who I am deep in my soul and I will chip away my hard outter shell ♥ I will forgive myself for my faults and move on ♥ I deserve great things reguardless of my past mistakes ♥

WORDS CHANGE EVERYTHING

I AM...

kind ☮ inspiring ☮ pretty ☮ generous ☮ happy ☮ free ☮ enthusiastic ☮ peaceful ☮ forgiving ☮ worldly ☮ understanding ☮ healthy

Positive affirmations, such as these, helped me sort out some personal struggles. The bottom line is...when you feel good, good things happen. Then life becomes way more fun than you ever expected.

Once upon a time, I was a little broken bird

Well, I'm not sure how I ended up here, because I'm not a blogger. Something lead me here and I'm just gonna go with it. It could be some sort of "Divine Push" in this direction from my dearest and sweetest friend, Sam, who passed away last summer. She always said I should blog, but I just wasn't into it. I was afraid to be vulnerable...(stupid ego.) But that was then, and I have a different outlook on everything now.
There are a lot of really amazing things happening to me.  I am in love with life and I am growing in so many different ways. Finally. And don't ever believe the person who says "People don't change" because they absolutely do. They just have to be tired of being mad and anxious all the time. Tired of playing that bogus victim role...tired of bogging down friends and family with their drama and treating them like they are a complaint counter.  As a child, for me, growing up was challenging because it was too strict. I wasn't really growing into an individual...so I ultimately blossomed into a smart mouthed, angry, extremely confrontational and immature, sometimes introverted, rebellious asshole. As a young girl I was just subjected to various people who acted that way. It doesn't matter now though. I'm extremely thankful. The point I'm trying to make is not that I had a bad childhood, so don't get confused. It was great and we were all very loved, took vacations, went fishing, rode bikes, had a swing set that tipped when we went too high. Normal kid stuff minus hanging out with friends. I still to this day wonder why it was such a big deal if I ever wanted to do that. You know, have friends. Maybe it scared my young parents to have any of their 5 children scattered all over town, who knows. I always knew our well being was of utmost importance though. Even if it meant no freedom.
Well, I read somewhere many years ago that "Happiness comes from within". Either people were saying it, or I was repeatedly reading it from random sources. It made me frustrated because, c'mon! Didn't I need things and people to be and behave in ways that best suits me in order for me to be happy?? Wasn't everyone supposed to just dance around me and say and do the things I wanted to hear and see to make me happy?? Then my favorite was "You can't make someone else happy unless you're happy" or "Take responsibility for your own happiness".. I just wasn't getting at all. How can I be happy on the inside if people were consistently pissing me off on the outside? Or maybe I just felt the need to control everything and everybody to suit how happy my day would be. Holy crap! Was I taught that? Hell I don't know. I was tired of it though...decided to get to the bottom of this "Being happy inside" business. The Law Of Attraction sort of fell in my lap one day. I've been studying it... and it's changing my life. I gotta tell ya, it feels pretty good to say that I am truly happy. Inside. I realized that my inner convictions were too strong to stay dormant...and so here I go. It didn't happen over night and wasn't easy, and still challenges me every day...but the more focused I get on having a better life, the easier it gets to shift my thinking and my mind and my well being is of utmost importance to me and I choose to be free. I will tell you with certainty, if you find yourself regularly annoyed by people and things, you are a controlling person so you may as well just admit it now. If you're annoyed by a person just being themselves, you won't be able to co-exist comfortably. So, if you get the feeling you wanna knock someone's block off because they make you uncomfortable...I think you get the picture. Oh, and don't chase pain by taking things personally. It's a waste of time. That's that. Which reminds me of a quote by Rumi- "Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open?" Most do because they don't know any better. For me, it was the decision, OK, Lynn, do you want to be happy? Then you have to abandon your aggressive and harsh attitude. 
 I've had a beautiful life so far. It has been interesting, challenging, angry, joyful, confusing, scary, blissful and fun and believe me when I say, there's no way I would take back anything. It has been perfect, all of it...the good, the bad and especially the ugly. And you're going to be driving your car one day when it hits you..."Wow, I don't have to be so hard... to prove that I'm tough".  And THAT will be clarity...it feels pretty good.
I suppose this blog will morph itself, organically, into whatever it will be. I have no plans here other than using it for a creative outlet to share part of my journey. The essence, for now, is transformation. My current state is a cocooned caterpillar...Like, "The Slumber Of The Chrysalis", if you will. Because, although I feel centered and collected, I know I'm still in the healing/transformation process. The essence here is love and inspiration. Whatever you get from it will be useful I predict. Something led you here...something called you to this page, so I hope it is an inspiration to you on your path. To pay homage to my dear friend Sam...Trust in your journey. Be funny, be fun, take a chance, follow your passion and don't give up on your dreams. Look at the sky from time to time, notice the clouds~moon~stars~sun~trees~bees and all things nature. Go outside, get out of the office, run, smile , laugh, tell jokes, love your family, love your friends, love your enemies. Be kind to the assholes of the world...they need it the most. Be patient, don't complain, keep a journal, be passionate, take care of yourself, love yourself. TRUST YOURSELF. Love and trust yourself no matter what.

"If there ever comes a day where we can't be together, put me in your heart and I'll stay there forever."

Thanks for reading,
Lynn


                       "The Mind Is Everything. What You Think, You Become." ~Buddha