It's something along the lines of solitude. I've dubbed it "Polarized"...yeah. I'm Polarized. I'm as happy as I could possibly be with being alone. I feel happy and complete in doing so. Hell, I'm making excuses to be alone. "I'm not feeling good..." It's hilarious. I feel amazing. I call it polarized because that's what people are probably thinking...'she's cold and distant lately'. I don't care. I say that to myself but it's not coming from a negative place. I know who I am and I know what I want, and it just so happens that social status or the status symbols that encompass social status are unimportant to me. The conversation traps that I find myself in. Pretending to be interested in what happened last night at the bar. Oh, wait a second man....is this really happening? They're talking to me while their face is buried in their cell phone. Are they hearing me when I speak...are they appreciating the beautiful music playing during dinner...are they aware of the beautiful night...are they enjoying the flavor of the wine, the smell of their dinner? Why does it feel like they are all hanging out in the boat while I am swimming in the water? Do they see me as pretentious? Am I coming off a snob? I don't know. It's unintended. It's back to the basics...a time I was most happy. A freedom I don't see many people possessing. The simplicity of a night sky, beautiful music and a cup of tea. Is anyone using the most precious gifts they were given? Is anyone aware that they hold the key? I'll do what I do, be who I be, groove how I groove.........and let the rest of the world be who they are without judgement. Live and let live? Yeah...I can do that :)
Let's play pretend and smile...won't you join me in the masquerade?
Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.
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